Youth by J. M. Coetzee

I possess a book called "1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die". There are 12 books by J. M. Coetzee there - an absolute record. I tried to read him once before and although his writing was really powerful and the plot seemed good, - I did not feel involved, carried away, fascinated. However, I gave Coetzee another try and I was surprised.

Youth is autobiographical yet heavily fictionalised. The main character of the book is John, a South African migrant who abandons his own country and goes to London searching for more culture and more possibilities to become a writer. Not only he fails to integrate and find recognition, but his inspiration seems to have left him for good. In order to survive and to not be sent back to South Africa he works as a programmer. He drags his lonely existence feeling unfulfilled. Going through a number of meaningless affairs John waits for his true love, a beautiful woman who will manage to see a burning heart of a poet through his dull exterior.
The book is a sort of a diary written from the third person perspective. While reading I felt a strange attachment to the protagonist. I think he reminded me of myself - my struggles, my attempts, my desires. Only through creativity I can reach the harmony and fulfillment - writing is only a form. Will I be any different from John? I sincerely hope so. The moment I squander my talents on trifles the life will have no sense and I will become someone else - someone wasted, someone very sad.
Youth is a great reminder that there is no time to be lost, that relations are to be built, not expected, that self-fulfillment is an aim to be achieved.